Sunday, February 21, 2010

Another stormy Central Utah weekend. Did some going over of student's papers, ran to the post and back, and today I'm milling about and puttering over this and that. The visual stim is getting old and gray, kinda like the winter's influence over my brain and perception. I know things are fine, but I'm just a little worn out with making old things new.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

The 'lympics didn't always bother me like they do now. I loved to watch them and hear the stories of athletes who passionately sacrificed in often very humble circumstances in order to compete in the games "just for the sake of the Olympic experience." Of course, many were going for the 'gold', but more often the spotlight was on the overall human experience.
These days, I see more fashion and Hollywood-style glamor than a bunch of young people getting along and competing for the joy of it all. More often than not, I see rich people exercising entitlement in order to get what they want. It's always been a political forum where certain people vie for superiority and more power on the world stage, but it seems that the games are almost completely taken over by the elites.
That's more than just no fun, but fairly distasteful when compared to the original and still professed ethos of the games. It's doesn't have much to do with amateurs doing their damnedest to be the best they can be, but almost entirely about how to become rich and famous.
Big surprise, I know.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Creative acts don't always have to be spontaneous.
I read a book once called 'Zen Seeing, Zen Drawing'. One of the points I remember most poignantly was the importance of pushing through stasis to a flow of creativity. I'm not much of an artist if compared to people with spontaneous and passionate talent, I reckon, but that doesn't matter if I am true to a spirit of self-actualization. I do enjoy the process of creation, drawing, sculpting, painting, making or whatever else I can get myself to do, but I also love the realization that I've been able to lift myself from stagnancy to a semblance of hope that I can commune with the world at large and perhaps even another person through my works.
My work is very draining. I spend from ten to twelve hours a day pushing myself to help people who don't want to be helped and students who want make someone else more miserable than they feel, so the dynamics of hope and energy for making can be daunting. It works itself out spontaneously sometimes, but most of the time, it's like I described. I have to push it until I feel like I want to do it. It's not easy; like I said, I don't feel like I'm a natural at this point in my life.
Each day is a fight to remain authentic, to be connected to what I feel is the fount of humanity. I think most people have lost knowledge of that connection, let alone the connection because of the ubiquity of struggle for money and comfort. I think it's important for some to go against the grain on this one, no matter how much crap we get from society-at-large.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Certainly don't choose the winner in politics very often; don't really much root for anything but the underdog for manifold reasons, but the single 'lympic hopeful I had this year made gold! Good on 'er.
Man, but she's good on the bumps. I couldn't ever get those down.
Well, that does it. Enough celebrity-watching for me.