Saturday, January 13, 2007

Todd Snider
Ballad Of The Kingsmen

The Kingsmen came together in a garage,
They could hardly even play
But they practiced night and day
Pretty soon they got to where they could really play that song Louie,
So, they saved up all the money from the shows,
Went in to one of them studios and gave their version of the song a try.
Now, I don't know the words to that song Louie,
Louie and I'm pretty sure the singer for the
Kingsmen didn't know ‘em either,
If he did know ‘em he didn't get ‘em right on the record
Cause on the record they sound jumbled in his jaw; It says,
Me think of me girl oh so constantly
Ahmayaaah makaaaah aahh ooohoooh aaaaah
Well, that last part scared everybody from the PTA to the FBI
You see, the kids had been going kind of crazy lately
And it seemed like nobody could figure out why,
So they decided to form a coalition,
Launch an investigation, you know for the children, they at least had to try
To figure out the words to Louie, Louie.

It's the feel good hit of this endless summer
It gets these kids out of control
Singin’ along to that star spangled bummer,
Hail, hail rock and roll

Marilyn Manson’s real name isn't even Marilyn Manson,
He's a skinny public high school Kid from Florida,
Not some monster from out of this world and like of a lot other skinny long hair public high school kids
he was sick of getting beaten up by the pulling guard all week
only to go out on the weekend,
And watch the Quarterback get all the girls,
So he formed a band man-
Now he gets all the girls.
A few years later a couple of latchkey kids go tragically mad
and everybody's standing around the television store at the mall trying to figure out what went wrong,
This guy says,
You think the life of a kid going to high school could've gotten so bad?
this other guy says nah,
It's just the words to one of them goddamn Marilyn Manson songs,
You know the one.


You know, every ten years or so our country and some other little country,
We start firing all of our newest weapons
At each other for some reason or another, right or wrong,
Like it or not, it happens, and when it happens
People get shot and when people get shot,
They show it on TV a lot every night at six o clock
And you don't even have to be eighteen to see it you don't even have to be in first grade,
First grade where they teach the kid pride
They tell him he'll need to thrive,
In a world where only the strong will survive,
So he's taught the art of more
To compare to and to keep score Monday thru Friday while
He stares at the floor 'til Sunday
they make him go to school once more
only this time they make him wear a suit and a tie
And listen to some guy who claims to know where people go
When they die
tell him that only the meek are gonna inherit the earth
Well shit,
By this time the kid doesn't know what anything is worth.
Now brothers and sisters I am only one guy
And I don't even know the words to that song Louie,
Louie but I can tell you right now without batting an eye
That the next time some latchkey kid goes wrong
It ain’t gonna be 'cause that eminem gets to say the word 'fag' in his song
And I'm not trying to preach to ya either,
I'm just trying to sing to ya too, you know string a few words together...

Hey kids...
Let’s get it on,
Let’s get it on

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