It's raining again here in SpringTowne.
July showers here are usually a product of the Monsoon, when low pressure and the jet stream combine to bring tropical moisture up from the Pacific west of Mexico up to our high desert plateaus and valleys.
We usually rejoice at this; the sheer change from blistering white heat and dry to the cool moisture and dusky illumination of cumulonimbus curtains.
But right now, things aren't so happy. We tried to purchase a house much more sufficient to our family's needs over the weekend in a deal that should have been fairly easy to figure out and close, but we weren't able to swing it this time. The situation turned emotional and, by the way were felt it, unreasonably one-sided. We probably could have snatched the deal from the flames, but the situation felt so sour to our sensibilities that, after close consideration to our feelings and spiritual moorings, we decided to let the thing go.
Presently, along with other setbacks and situations, we, and more particularly I, am depressed to the point of physical consequences. This is despite numerous mental and physical exercises with the purpose of redirection and reconciliation to the reality and benefits of our circumstance. It's a frustrating predicament, and rather irrational in its effects.
My reality overall is that of a somewhat overextended father of eight who teaches both in a difficult alternative setting with an emotionally abusive administrator and over the impersonal medium of the internet.
At this point, though, I'm just trying to figure out why this house thing has been so difficult in its execution and aftermath.
Oh yeah. Gas and the economy are making it increasingly improbable that I'm going to be able to spend much time (if any) this summer and fall in my spiritual sanctuary of Yellowstone. I don't fully know what that's such a big deal to me, but it seems that way.
Anyhoo, Things well get better, and this experience will fade to it's appropriate place in memory.
But meanwhile, it's raining outside, and I've got lots of work to do; I've got something bigger to build from all this dross and ephemera!