Wednesday, November 9, 2005

Whatever shall I do?

In a world with opportunities and ideas for profit and gain coming out of the worm-holes and pockmarks like so much accompanying, …stuff, I am in the middle of decisions and questions about my and my family’s well-being and temporal welfare.

While the statement about opportunity and money above is true for so much of the world, here in wee little Sanpete County, the abundance is quite a bit leaner. Does this reflect a can-do attitude so necessary for ‘success’ in our go-get-em society and world? Probably not.

Balance between reality, what one has experienced in one’s perception of reality and the reality that one wants to create within the at-large reality is not always easy to acquire and even harder at times to maintain. Perhaps it is easier for some, but I for one have not arrived at that point. It is something I aspire to, though.

I have two dear friends who have recently struck out on wild paths of self and familial fulfillment who have been rewarded handsomely for their efforts. While their goals are only slightly different from mine, the variation of core values and how to fulfill those hopes takes methodology of fulfillment to potentially radically different places. That’s where things get hard for people of my ilk.

Rigid ideals can be punishing taskmasters. I’ve learned that, and compromise comes from equally toilsome effort as well.

Nevertheless, I’m coming to a crossroads. I’ve especially recently compromised and worked to keep my ideals and responsibilities satisfied somewhere in the middle, but all the same, I might have to compromise and pay the taskmaster even more. That isn’t a happy place for me at this point.

Happy things are what I’m hoping for. I yet have faith in hope. There is so danged much that I don’t know or see in the future. I’ve no idea how things will work out.

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